Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Randomize
