I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
