Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
