I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Randomize
