We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I faked an abortion last night.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Randomize
