i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
