Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
