I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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