need another drink. this is the easiest way
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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