So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
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