im drinking this country out of the recession.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
