I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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