for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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