who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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