Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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