I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Randomize
