we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
