Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
