Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I'm both gender and math confused
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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