margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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