Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
