So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
