I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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