i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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