who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Randomize
