Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Randomize
