Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Randomize
