his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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