Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Randomize
