I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I just had sex on a roof
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
