I just pynch a tree in the face
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize