I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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