I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
another moral hangover. fuck.
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
