i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
