you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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