Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
