Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
