tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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