im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Life is so much better after having sex.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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