how can u be prego again
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize