You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
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