It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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