I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
and you fell through a lawn chair
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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