not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize