That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
