i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
