kristin has been a bad kristin
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Randomize
