that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
