Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
