I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
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