I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
