remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
