if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
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