I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Randomize