you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
