first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
