better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
