how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize