Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
