I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
