Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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