I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Randomize
