chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
