We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
