are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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