Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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