i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
