I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I am spending my child support on dildos
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Randomize
